Just Watch.

Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters

Paul Schrader, 1985

I went into this with some preconceived notions. I thought it would be an odd, fanboy sort of thing. I expected it to give off that same weird vibe as that one white boy who's freakishly into Japanese culture. You know the type I'm talking about.

Of course, to use the word "fanboy" presumes a level of amateurishness, which is in no way a correct assessment of this movie. It's masterfully done, and visually and stylistically audacious in a way that few films are.

One, Two, Three!

Billy Wilder, 1961

I don't know how many of you are familiar with a film called Ninotchka. It's a delightful little romantic comedy by Ernst Lubitsch, that tells the old familiar story: good Soviet girl meets capitalism (via Paris), capitalism seduces good Societ girl. This movie is basically the same thing, except here capitalism doesn't seduce a good communist boy. Rather, it  beats him over the head repeatedly until he realizes resistance is futile.

Capitalism here is represented by two worthy emissaries. James Cagney plays a particularly affable and effective kind of ugly American, pugnacious and brash, who keeps his head down and gets the job done through sheer force of will and a loud voice. As the American temptress, Pamela Tiffin displays the kind of self-confident ditziness that never fails to win people over. It's a performance worthy of America's favorite wily ditz, Miss Marilyn Monroe. Poor Horst Buchholz, whose socialist leanings are telegraphed through aborted tirades and his newsboy cap, doesn't stand a chance. But since when did capitalism fight fair?

As with all of Wilder's films, the dialogue sparkles here. It's a joy to hear the banter ricochet back and forth, dropping little cues that eventually build up to a punchline. Seemingly trivial, offhand comments build up to a big finish. It's a cliched thing to say, but like all cliches, it has a kernel of truth: they don't make 'em like this anymore.

Madea Goes to Jail

Tyler Perry, 2009

My mom and I were so excited about this one, and I have to say I was let down. You might say it's my own damn fault for having any expectations going into a movie like this, and maybe you're right.

The thing is, I didn't expect this movie to be good, per se. I did expect it to be funny, and it really failed on that point. I thought Madea would be more of a character, but the truth is that there's barely enough substance there to get through a 3-minute SNL skit. To say that most of the movie is like having a fight with a toddler who just repeats everything you say is not so much a metaphor for how this film never gets off the ground as it is an actual description of all of the scenes.

I feel really conflicted about not liking this, because the fact of the matter is that Tyler Perry's movies are a touchstone for a criminally under-served audience. He also regularly employs talented black actors, who are never considered for parts this big in Hollywood. So I guess I'm comfortable disliking it just as much as I dislike every crappy, aspiring-to-mediocrity chick flick that gets churned out every other month.

Phasers to Stun

Star Trek, JJ Abrams, 2009

First things first: I'm not a die hard Trekkie, although I do like to watch the original series for camp value (it's almost as good as Batman for that.) I also don't watch Lost and didn't watch Alias, so I have no particular feelings towards JJ Abrams.

So I am not one of the all people for whom this movie must be all things.  But I thought it was pretty damn fantastic.

What do we require of a summer blockbuster? It should look like the millions of bucks it undoubtedly cost to create. (If you too, had the misfortune of seeing the GI Joe and Transformers 2 trailers that I did, you'll know that this doesn't always pan out.) But boy does it ever here. The whole picture looked sleek and shiny and expensive, and if the series is using the same quality sets, we're in for a real treat. Something Abrams did a lot was show us slow-motion explosions or battles in space, all of which were beautiful on that breathtaking, Battlestar Galactica level.

Remaking a popular franchise also requires that you walk a fine line between giving the fans what they want and making the material your own. I thought that the through the wormhole of time reboot they accomlished here was a wonderfully audacious (and surprisingly coherent) move, one that gives them a lot of room to explore new storylines.

Valentino is... Caligula!

Valentino: The Last Emperor; directed by Matt Tyrnauer, 2008

This is basically a movie about all the crazy shit you can do with your dogs if you're rich.

OK, so it's a movie about fashion, and if you love fashion you've already seen it or know that you want to.

But if you're not a fashion person, there's still a lot going on here for you to enjoy.  It's a movie about a way of life and an art form that few still practice and is rapidly disappearing. It's about old world practices and modern business.

It's also a movie about love, about giving yourself over to someone else's vision as a sustained act of love over decades and decades. We never really discover what motivation Valentino's long time companion Giancarlo Giammetti has for working for this man, but we believe him when he says that he's happy. And the two of them engage in some truly grade-A entertaining bickering.

Tyrnauer worked as a reporter for Vanity Fair, and the movie has a Vanity Fair feel to it: glossy and glamorous, with lots of witty details and asides.